December 2, 2016

Thanksgiving Jokes

If April showers bring May flowers what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!

Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.

Why do turkeys always go, “gobble, gobble”?
Because they never learned good table manners!

What sound does a space turkey make?
Hubble, hubble, hubble.

Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play.

Why did the Indian chief wear so many feathers?
To keep his wigwam.

Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks

What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian?
He had an arrow escape.

‘Twas the night of Thanksgiving,
but I just couldn’t sleep…
I tried counting backwards,
I tried counting sheep.
The leftovers beckoned…the dark meat and white,
but I fought the temptation with all of my might.
Tossing and turning with anticipation,
the thought of a snack became infatuation.
So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door
and gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.
I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
stuffing with gravy, green beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.
I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky
with a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie
But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees…
Happy eating to all — pass the cranberries, please.

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